hey you guys.
this year has been incredible. sometimes just thinking about it leaves me speechless. i went through so many difficulties. i mean i left my safe home for such a big adventure knowing absolutly nothing at all. it could have turned out as an disaster. but it did not. it turned out to be the best thing i have ever done. i do not regret it one bit and if i could, i would do it again.
now all this has come to an end.
i had to say goodbye to my friends, my awesome hostfamily and my home.
it is all over now and i am on my way back to germany.. it still hasn't hit me.
i wanted to talk about the impact of this exchange year on me and how it changed me and my way of thinking.
i was a very judgemental person. people might not think that about me but oh boy i was. i would not necessarily say it out loud but i would judge you by your clothes, your look, your way of speaking or the way your teeth look as silly as it sounds. everyone has a side they don't like about themselves, yup that was mine. and i am one lucky girl to be able to say that, that is no longer a part of me. i don't exactly know how that changed but it did. i met so many people here and already judged at first sight. after getting to know them i literally fell in love with their personalities.
i am a whole lot more selfconfident now too. i never liked asking for help, it made me think i was weak. i learned i can't always handle everything by myself and i need to ask for help and i don't mind doing so anymore. but i also learned about myself that i can handle quite a lot of things by myself. i feel like i grew so much in this year. i feel so much more mature. i found out where my boundries are by pushing myself. i saw parts of myself that i never thought existed. as dumb as it maybe sounds i feel like a whole new person.
my parents always raised me to become an independent person and this year contributed a lot to it too.
people's opinions about me were never important to me but deep down inside i would still doubt myself. i would ask myself, what if they don't like it, whatever it may be. now, not really. i am going to wear the shirt if i like it and i do not care whatsoever if anybody else does not. i say what i think and if you dont agree that's okay but it won't keep me from saying it anyways. you don't like the way i appear? okay i am totally fine with that but will it make me change in a way you want me to be? not really. i started to accept the way i am and also parts of myself i didn't like.
a maybe dumb example but i really hated my legs. i have bad allergies in the summer and they are O- shaped. but that's the way they are and they are part of me. god gave me those legs so why not just accept the way they are, especially since there is nothing i can do about them anyways?
i also think i got politer. when i first got here i was rude. after making friends they told me that. i was blunt and didn't care about anyones feelings. i now do. i mean at least more than i did before.
i also learned to appreciate what i have. i saw so many people who have so much less than i do and are still happy. i learned that i can 'survive' with less things. i started to see what really matters in life. i now know that i can make things work for myself and even if something does not sound good in the beginning it is your fault if it stays bad. you have to make an effort in making it good, i know i can now.
in germany i was the kind of person who would spend the weekends watching netflix until 3 in the morning, and don't get me wrong i still am (sorry mama that did not change) but i just did not like leaving the house really. i was kind of lazy. here i was literally busy every single day of the week. i mean yes of course i have school. but i participated in sports, in basically every single club in school, extra curriculur activities. i would go to our church youth group and on weekends we would always go somewhere with friends. i was constantly busy and i really really like that. i hope i can do some of those things in germany too.
so finally i just want to say if you are currently thinking about whether you should or should not do an exchange, i want to encourage you to do it! i promise you will not regret it at all.
i am not gonna lie, it is not alway easy but it is so worth it. you can only benefit from it.
this year makes someone so different out of you, you don't even know. you will try so many things, learn so many things, meet so many people, it is simply amazing. it is something nobody can ever take away from you and something you will not understand if you don't go through it.
this is my last day here in america and if i could, i would travel back in time.
thanks for this amazing year.
goodbye america.
-betty
..shadows settle on the place you left. our minds are troubled by the emptiness. we are the reckless, we are the wild youth. chasing visions of our futures..
Youth - Sydnee Carter
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